This is Your Renaissance
From England to Italy, a lesson in rebirth.
It’s been a month since landing back in Italy. There are a thousand articles I could’ve written during this time, but in true Italian fashion, I needed to slow down and savor my life here. ‘Dolce far niente’ is the Italian phrase that translates to ‘the sweetness of doing nothing.’ I’ve not been doing nothing, but I wanted to be deeply present for what I was doing.
Practicing presence has been a daily practice of mine for decades, but to practice it inside a country and culture that values presence as a lifestyle is something else entirely; the impact is that my body feels safe here. I can breathe in Italy. I can go at my own pace in Italy. I can connect with myself and the world around me more deeply in Italy. I’ve come to experience that in Italy, I am the best version of myself. It is a deeper layer of homecoming, indeed. I’ve experienced similar sensations in Boston, San Francisco and Savannah-three American cities that have called me ‘home’ along my journey. Each of those cities served a sacred purpose in my growth and transformation, to be sure, but the experience I have in Italy is the synergy of all of them. It is perhaps this synergy that causes an almost daily sense of déjà vu. Like all timelines I’ve ever lived have converged into one, and I now get the gift of arrival.
To arrive here required a lot of death, including that which I wrote of during my recent trip to London. I’ve shed many skins to arrive home in Italy. But as with all things, there is a flip-side: with death also comes rebirth. You cannot have one without the other. And so, I’d like to take the opportunity this month to share both a story of rebirth, as well as the rebirth of my website.
Pour yourself a glass or a cuppa and enjoy…
Introducing my New Website
Two years ago, while navigating the throws of a cyber stalker, I was advised to take down every digital footprint I had. For someone who is self-employed through online work, this was quite a blow to my business. In hindsight, it was also an opportunity for reflection, refining, and becoming. Although I was cleared to go back online after just a few months, I decided to slowly return to digital visibility. Two years later I am proud to share a new website that reflects the depth and richness of that journey. Please join me at www.sarah-grady.com to learn more about my work as an author and coach.
Story time…
Two weeks ago was the Easter holiday. Easter in any Catholic country is a site to behold, but particularly in Italy. Say what you will about the Catholic church, but if your heart is open to it, the spirit of Easter provides an invitation much deeper than religiosity. While the week long Semana Santa festivities ensued, and church bells rang on every corner in Florence, I was struck with the 3-pronged awareness of the moment:
Easter represents the resurrection of Christ
I was walking in the birthplace of the Renaissance
and collectively [in the Northern Hemisphere] we’ve just crossed over from Winter into Spring.
All three elements embody the concept of rebirth.
Standing inside the potency of this energy, I was reminded of the defining moment that Italy chose me and I chose it; the moment that I didn’t even know I needed, but somehow a ‘random stranger’ did.
Maybe you’ve had one of these moments, too?
Back in November I ended a month long love affair with a man in Lucca, Italy. What started as quite a beautiful Under the Tuscan Sun moment, ended in a bit of a traumatic way. As I sat on a park bench with that man screaming at me, I remember being above my life watching the scene play out. His behavior was disgusting, but it was exactly what I needed to break a very old pattern. As he screamed, I internally kept repeating, “We don’t do this anymore, Sarah Grady…we don’t do this anymore,” like a mantra until he left.
‘We don’t do this anymore,’ as in, I do not tolerate abuse in any form and call it ‘love.’ As in, I do not attract people into my life that appear one way and then flip-switch into Jekyll Hyde. I no longer enable Jekyll Hyde shenanigans by extending my empathy, grace or compassion, just because I can see their ‘potential.’ I do not tolerate anything other than healthy, grounded, consistent love from this moment forward. No more lessons or projects, simply love. Anything else can respectfully fuck off. And so, I packed my bags and returned to Florence the next day.
Clear, but still distraught, I followed an impulse to take myself out to a wine bar for lunch. I needed a moment to gather myself and begin again. This particular bar was on the other side of the river, tucked away from tourists, and touted as a true local Florentine spot. As I made my approach to the entrance, painted in giant letters next to the front door was a sign that read, “Carpe the Fucking Diem!” Yes, I thought, I’m seizing the day and re-writing my story of love. But first, wine.
It was a tiny bar with five tables squeezed into a space for three. I sat on one end, and three other women sat on the other. I ordered a glass of local Vermentino, and upon first sip, cried. I looked at my server and said, “Thank you. Today I am celebrating…” Before I could even finish my sentence, the woman closest to me said, “Oh, is it your birthday today, too?”
“Well, my birthday was actually last week,” I mentioned, “…but today I’m celebrating something else.”
Her name was Silvia, and after she exclaimed that today was her birthday, she gave me that all knowing look that only a woman can give another woman. The universal look of, ‘sister, I see you.’
What happened next blew my mind. Seemingly out of nowhere, Silvia asked if I was an artist. When I replied that I was, as a writer, but also as a trained dancer and actress, she took it upon herself to start telling me the story of how the wine bar (and additional restaurants in the restaurant group) was run by artists. After sharing the story of several artists standing behind the bar, she simply proclaimed, “So, these are your people! Your people are here.”
What Silvia didn’t know was that three years prior I’d left my home in Savannah, Georgia because although I loved the city of Savannah, it was clear that ‘my people’ were not there. I’d been on a long journey of travel to discover where those people were, and Italy just so happened to be last on my list for research.
I burst into tears.
She, and her two colleagues, responded with immediate concern. I assured them that my tears were good tears; that this was a sign of synchronicity. But also, that I was particularly tender because of a rupture that had just occurred in Lucca.
Silvia, who is a force to be reckoned with, looked me dead in the eye, raised her glass of wine, and said, “Do you know where you are? Do you know that you are sitting not just in the city of the Renaissance, but the street where it all happened? You are sitting in the birthplace of the Renaissance, Sarah. Look, I don’t know what happened to you in Lucca, or anything in your life before Lucca, but what I do know is that those things are in your past. Let the past be in the past. Today is the beginning of something new. Today is the start of your Renaissance!”
Then she handed me her business card, invited me to coffee later that week, paid my tab and waltzed out of that wine bar like she owned the joint.
Did I just meet my Italian Fairy Godmother?!
I sat there stunned. A death and a rebirth, all within 24hours. From Lucca to Florence, a renaissance.
I walked out of that wine bar as if I’d lost 100 pounds. A psychic weight had been lifted, and in its place a sacred invitation bestowed:
What will you choose now, Sarah?
Who will you become?
What parts of you will you resurrect and which ones have been laid to rest…for good?
That moment with Silvia reminded me of a principle I’d taught to many clients throughout the years, but had recently forgotten to practice myself: at any moment we can make a new choice. It might be scary and painful, but we can do it. We can choose to stop cycles of behavior and relationships that harm us. We can choose to stop self-sabotage in its tracks and believe in our worthiness. We can choose to trust life instead of fearing it.
But most of all, we can choose Love. Again, and again, and again. No matter how many times the illusion of love knocks us down, we can choose to believe that the real thing will always be there to catch us when we fall. That, in fact, real Love is the driving force behind any resurrection in our lives.
So, my invitation to you this month is the same one that Silvia gave me- a Renaissance!
Whatever has happened in your life up until this moment is your past. The good, the bad and the ugly. Lay it down and let it go, fully. Choose, in this moment, to believe that something good is being resurrected in your life. Maybe it’s a childhood dream. Maybe it’s a relationship. Maybe it’s your health. Maybe you can’t quite see what it is yet, but you can feel something on the horizon. Whatever it is, make room for it. Welcome it in with a trusting, open heart. Don’t question it. Receive it fully when it arrives. You, as much as anyone, are worthy of the Love you so generously give to others. Trust that your people will find you, and when they do, let them.
With all the Love in my heart,
Sarah
Here’s to renaissance—beginning again and again💚